On New Year's Resolutions

"You are what you do, not what you say you'll do."

Sometime around 340 BC, Aristotle gave a series of lectures at the Lyceum in Athens in which he presented a theory of how humans can cultivate a good life and take deep satisfaction in it. He described true flourishing as a state of the soul that he referred to with the Greek word eudaimonia (from eu for “good” + daimon for "spirit").

His lectures were compiled by students and eventually published in the form of a book titled the Nicomachean Ethics, named for Aristotle’s son Nicomachus.

I’ve often thought it a great pity that the basic principles of this book aren’t widely and vigorously taught to the young in schools. If only young people could be made to understand the wisdom of these lessons, they would be spared an enormous amount of wasted time, frustration, and regret. The smart ones will eventually learn the lessons on their own, but at a great cost.

Site of the Lyceum in Athens

Aristotle took plains to clarify that eudaimonia is not the same as the pleasure that one takes in enjoyable activities such as consuming good food and wine, or in sex. Nor is it the same as the gratification that one feels in acquiring wealth.

Eudaimonia is a deep satisfaction that one takes in the well earned belief that one consistently behaves and orders his life in accordance with the moral virtues of courage, temperance, justice, and liberality, and the intellectual virtues of wisdom, understanding, and prudence. Eudaimonia is not a means to an end but an end in itself.

Obtaining eudaimonia is what enables one to live without shame, guilt, or regret—to go to bed at night with a clear conscience that one has done the work, fulfilled his duties, and always acted like a reasonable man.

As Aristotle pointed out, becoming virtuous and obtaining eudaimonia does not come naturally, but must be acquired through repetitive action. Actions repeated become habits, and through virtuous habits, one becomes a virtuous and therefore flourishing person.

As Carl Jung echoed this idea over two thousand years later, “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”

For example, if you want to cultivate the virtue of courage, you must start by doing an action — no matter how small — that requires overcoming your fear. In the modern world, this often means calmly telling someone the truth (as best as you can ascertain it) about something, even though doing so will likely result in a conflict.

After telling the truth in uncomfortable situations several times, doing so becomes less and less frightening. Thus, through the repeated action of doing or saying something that requires overcoming fear, one becomes courageous.

We often think of courage in the context of combat — in the boxing ring or on the battlefield—and we admire the young men who have the courage to risk getting horribly injured or killed. However, it is important to remember that most soldiers are not born with this kind of bravery. They become brave by repeatedly entering combat. If a man isn’t afraid of being punched in the face or shot, he isn’t brave, he is foolhardy or psychopathic or both.

A spectacular example of this James Brudenell (Lord Cardigan) leading the charge of the Light Brigade directly into a Russian artillery barrage at the Battle of Balaclava on October 25, 1854 during the Crimean War. Observing this disastrous frontal assault, the French general Pierre Bosquet, exclaimed:

C’est magnifique, mais ce n’est pas la guerre; c’est de la folie

It is magnificent, but it’s not war; it’s madness.

Here at the very beginning of the New Year, if you are thinking about resolving to make a change in your life, remember that you can achieve this not by thinking, talking, or writing about it. The key is to start doing it now.

I believe it’s best to start off small. For example, if you have resolved to do 100 pushups every day, start by doing five right now. Tomorrow morning, do five or ten pushups as part of your morning ritual. The key is not to try to force yourself to do too many, because you won’t stick with it. Just do small number every day at the same time, without fail.

After you do this for a few days in a row, it will start to become a habit. After a while, you will no longer even think about. This same principle applies to tidying your living quarters, shopping for and preparing healthy foods, or socializing without drinking alcohol (or at least not more than one or two drinks).

Whatever change you resolve to make, you will achieve it through daily, repetitive action.

In his book, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, author Charles Duhigg explains that modern neuroscience has detected physical evidence (in brain imaging) that supports Aristotle’s theory. Before and after brain scans of people who have thoroughly acquired new and wholesome habits through repetitive action look strikingly different, with the latter showing increased blood flow and activity in areas that were formerly inactive.

Duhigg points out the remarkable transformative power of cultivating what is known as a Keystone Habit — that is, a foundational habit that makes acquiring an array of good habits relatively easy.

The most obvious example of a Keystone Habit is daily physical exercise, preferably outdoors in the fresh air and sun.

If you can get into the habit of each day setting everything aside for an hour to focus on vigorous physical training—both cardiovascular and strength — this keystone habit will produce a domino effect that makes acquiring other wholesome habits relatively easy.

Duhigg gives the example of a woman who felt stuck in her life, in her unrewarding job, and in her unsatisfying relationship. She was overweight and felt ashamed of it, smoked cigarettes to relieve her stress and anxiety, and generally felt bad about herself.

One day she purchased a pair of jogging shoes and started going for a daily jog — very short and painful at first, but gradually, with daily repetition, the jogs became easy enough to extend and intensify.

She found tricks to sustain the habit — things like putting her jogging shoes on the floor in front of her refrigerator. In this way, she cued herself to go for a jog instead of snacking.

After she repeated her daily jog for several weeks — gradually increasing the duration and intensity—she started to feel and look better and to carry herself with greater confidence. As her conditioning improved, jogging become a pleasurable activity instead of a painful chore.

A year after acquiring the keystone habit of going for a daily jog (with increasing intensity) she lost the unwanted weight and quit smoking. She ditched her dead-end job and dead-end boyfriend, and got a much better and higher-paying job and a much more attractive boyfriend.

She didn’t start by resolving to change all of her bad habits, but by taking the initial action to go for a jog. She then repeated it every day — sometimes two or three times per day — without fail. It didn’t matter that her jogs were initially short. The key was doing the repetitive action.

So, if you have a New Year’s resolution, don’t make the mistake of setting big and unrealistic goals. Start small so that you can do it every day without fail, no matter what other things the day throws at you.

Don’t think about it, talk about it, write about it, or listen to podcasts about it — just start doing it and keep doing it every day.