Purported Text Exchange Between Kirk's Alleged Assassin and Trans Boyfriend

Thorough explication of his incriminating activities written in detailed complete sentences with few abbreviations. A film noir screenwriter couldn't have made it clearer.

The Utah County DA just dictated to a press conference what is purportedly the full text message exchange between Charlie Kirk’s assassin and his transgender boyfriend/roommate shortly after the alleged assassin committed the murder.

Note the needless use of modifiers and elaborations (which I highlight in bold). These formulations remind me of composition student struggling with his tendency to wordiness, and not a 22-year-old boy texting on his phone while trying to grab the rifle he dumped in the woods after using it to commit an assassination.

The texter also seems to go out of his way to include incriminating details that are far beyond the scope of letting his lover know he’ll be home soon.

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ROBINSON: "Drop what you're doing, look under my keyboard."

ROOMMATE: "You are joking right?"

ROBINSON: "I am still okay, my love. Shouldn't be long until I can come home, but I gotta grab my rifle still. To be honest, I had hoped to keep this secret till I died of old age. I am sorry to involve you."

ROOMMATE: "You weren't the one who did it, right?"

ROBINSON: "I am, I am, I'm sorry."

ROOMMATE: "I thought they caught the person."

ROBINSON: "No, they grabbed some crazy old dude, then interrogated someone in similar clothing. I had planned to grab my rifle from my drop point shortly after, but most of that side of town got locked down. It's quiet, almost enough to get out, but there's one vehicle lingering."

ROOMMATE: "Why?"

ROBINSON: "Why did I do it? I had enough of his hatred. Some hate can't be negotiated out. If I am able to grab my rifle unseen, I will have left no evidence. Going to attempt to retrieve it again. Hopefully they have moved on. I haven't seen anything about them finding it."

ROOMMATE: "How long have you been planning this?"

ROBINSON: "A bit over a week, I believe. I can get close to it, but there is a squad car parked right by it. I think they already swept that spot, but I don't want to chance it. I'm wishing I had circled back and grabbed it as soon as I got to my vehicle. I'm worried what my old man would do if I didn't bring back Grandpa's rifle. IDEK if it had a serial number, but it wouldn't trace to me. I worry about prints. I had to leave it in a bush where I changed outfits. I might have to abandon it and hope they don't find prints." "How the F will I explain losing it to my old man? Only thing I left was the rifle wrapped in a towel. Remember how he was engraving bullets? The F in messages are mostly a big meme. If I see notice bulge U-W-U on Fox News, I might have a stroke, all right, I'm gonna have to leave it. That really F in sucks. Judging from today, I'd say grandpa's gun does just fine IDK. I think that was a 2K dollar scope."

"Delete this exchange. My dad wants photos of the rifle. He says, Grandpa wants to know who has what. The feds released a photo of the rifle and it is very unique. He's calling me, RN. Not answering.

Since Trump got into office, my dad has been pretty diehard MAGA. I'm gonna turn myself in willingly. One of my neighbors here is a deputy for the sheriff. Again, you are all I worry about love. Don't take any interviews or make any comments. If any police ask you questions, ask for a lawyer and stay silent."

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This totally unnecessary and needlessly detailed confession by text message is what one would expect to see in the climactic “Why did you do it?” scene of film noir convention.

The following example is from The Maltese Falcon, though, in this case, Bogey’s “Why did you do it?” delivery is angry instead of tender and distraught.